Right, you fucking muppets. Look at this pathetic excuse for a kitchen. It’s brighter than a fucking dentist’s office. And those cow ears? Are you trying to milk some sympathy? You’re more likely to milk a rock. Seriously, what kind of culinary wasteland are you working in? I wouldn't feed the scraps to my dog. I'd sooner watch paint dry. Go home and practice using an oven. Your mothers would be ashamed.

Right, you fucking muppet. What in the bloody hell are you doing carrying a pillow like that? It's a polka dot pillow, for crying out loud! Are you some sort of fashion disaster, or just a clueless twit? This isn't a goddamn fashion show; it's an office. And that stupid smug look on your face? Wipe it off. You look like you raided a charity shop for your entire outfit.

Oi, you fucking muppet! Look at this sweater, this dreadful, lifeless, beige thing. It's like it's been through a nuclear winter. And those jeans, they look like they've seen more action than a pair of work boots. You couldn't cook a decent meal if your life depended on it.

Right, you lot, listen up! What in the bloody hell is this kitchen? It looks like a badger’s exploded in here. Are those fucking pipes? What, is this a science experiment or a bloody restaurant? And you, you fucking muppet in the black jumper, your expression is about as interesting as watching paint dry. And what are you all eating? That looks like something a dog wouldn't touch twice. Are you actually serious? Get a grip.

Right, you fucking muppets. Look at this drab, lifeless space. It's like a beige prison designed by a colourblind accountant. And that outfit? Seriously? Brown sweatshirt and jeans? Is this some kind of culinary uniform for the aesthetically challenged? Are you even trying, you donkey? Get some colour in your life, and your fucking wardrobe!

Right, you bunch of fucking muppets. Look at this… this… *lounge*. What the fuck is this drab shit? It looks like a waiting room in a dentist's office designed by a colorblind ferret. And your clothes? You're wearing something called "Patagonia," I bet it cost more than your combined culinary skills. I'd wager my Michelin stars that neither of you could cook a decent boiled egg. Let alone a soufflé.

Right, you fucking muppets. Look at those jeans. What in the actual fuck are those? They look like they've been dragged through a badger's arse. And that jacket? It's giving me flashbacks to my grandmother's curtains. The whole outfit is a culinary crime against fashion. Honestly, you look like you raided a charity shop after a badger exploded in it.

Right, you fucking muppet. Those trousers. What in the name of Satan are those? They look like they were designed by a blind badger with a penchant for orthopedic shoes. Absolutely dreadful. And your stance? You look like a startled penguin. Get yourself a goddamn tailor, you donkey!

Right, you fucking muppet. Look at these sweatpants. They're Nike. Who the fuck are you kidding? You look like you raided your dad's wardrobe, you absolute donkey. Get a grip.

I just love that sweater! The color is so perfect on you. It's so cozy-looking, I bet it's incredibly soft.

Oh my goodness, that sweater! It's such a lovely, soft-looking color, and it looks so cozy on you. I bet you're super warm and comfortable in it!

Well hello there! Those are some seriously stylish trousers you've got on. They look super comfy and perfect for a long day in the kitchen. Keep up the good work, chef!